Our daughter was born in the same month that our son started at a local preschool's international division in Shanghai. Although, during that month, I delegated the drop-off and pick-up duties to our nanny, I was determined not to miss any parent-teacher conferences at our son's school. The first parent-teacher conference took place when our daughter was just two weeks old. After rearranging my nursing schedule, I went to the school for the meeting. Everyone there was astonished to see me. For the Chinese, it was unthinkable for me to leave our house before the one-month post-birth confinement period was up.
In fact, zuoyuezi, or the month-long, post-birth rituals are the most well observed and well-respected rituals in Chinese tradition. Zuoyuezi literally means "sitting for the month" in Chinese. During this time period, a new mother is not allowed outside of her house so that she won't catch a cold from blowing wind. In addition, she is not supposed to shower or wash her hair because it might give her arthritis or chronic headaches when she gets old. Only sponge baths are allowed. She cannot hold the baby except to breast feed so that her muscles are not strained, and she must stay in bed as much as she can to avoid back problems. Furthermore, she has to follow a diet regimen. This regimen varies depending upon where she lives in China. Most diets require the drinking of a lot of chicken or fish soup without any salt added to promote the production of breast milk. In order to protect her eyesight, a new mother is not allowed to watch any television or read any books or magazines. And, to make sure she does not catch any cold air in her joints, she has to wear long-sleeved shirts, long pants and socks even on the hottest days of the summer. The ultra-traditionalists even prohibit the use of air conditioners or fans. Lastly, to help slim down her middle section, some mid-wives will wrap a ten-meter-long cotton cloth around the new mother's tummy like a shrink wrap.
While a lot of these rituals sound like medieval torture to Westerners, most Chinese women actually follow them. They believe that if they don't follow the rules, their health will suffer in their old age. My mother, for example, would often say to me that her heels hurt now because she wore slippers without socks after she gave birth to me. Another reason why the Chinese women are very strict about zuoyuezi is because a good monthly regimen can cure illnesses previously ailing the new mother. For example, some of my mother's friends swear that their chronic shoulder and back pains disappeared after properly observing the monthly confinement. The Chinese believe that with each birth, your body has an opportunity to reset itself. But the window of opportunity is only one month long. If you can get well rested and healthy during this month, you will enjoy a life of healthiness. But if you hurt anything during this month and do not get it fixed, you are likely to suffer the ailment all your life. This is why most Chinese women are afraid to do anything wrong during this special month.
This is also why the Chinese teachers and parents at my son's preschool berated me for violating the one-month confinement. They immediately turned off the air conditioner on my account, and made sure I sat away from the fan so that no wind could blow on me. As soon as the meeting ended, they shooed me away and told me to go home. I felt like a naughty child caught breaking a curfew.
Although I tried to follow the rules, I ended up compromising on most of them. I resisted washing my hair for ten days and just couldn't stand it anymore. Just to make sure I don't catch head colds and have headaches when I get old, I made sure to blow my hair really dry. Also, I took showers every other day to stay clean and fresh. I didn't follow the rule of not holding the baby at all. She was too adorable; I just couldn't resist. As a compromise, I breast fed her while lying down to relieve any pressure on my back, and I rested a lot. I watched very little television and read less than I normally do. That part wasn't too hard since most of the time I was exhausted trying to take care of the two kids. I did follow the strict diet. Luckily for me, now you can find catering services for new mothers in China. They delivered all the food I was allowed to eat every morning. It had no salt and had a lot of soups as main entrees. The best part was that I ate nutritious food without having to worry about cooking it! One last thing, September in Shanghai was still very warm, so I did have the air conditioner going. But I adjusted the vent so that the cold air did not blow directly on me.
Comparing the two post-birth experiences, I have to admit that I felt healthier and recovered much faster by following the Chinese tradition. My back did not hurt at all whereas after the birth of my son, I had really terrible back problems. The diet also seemed to help me produce more milk and lose my baby weight much faster. In fact, now I recommend this new mother's catering service to every expectant mother.
If I had another baby, I'd probably follow the Chinese zuoyuezi again. But my husband is convinced that two kids are quite enough for now!
(selected from 101 Stories for Foreigners to Understand Chinese People by Yi S. Ellis and Bryan D. Ellis, published by China Intercontinental Press in 2012)
