Small differences in manners and customs can often lead to misunderstandings especially amongst co-workers from different countries that need to work together. One area that Bryan noticed is eye contact, or "looking each other in the eye."

In Western culture, eye contact is very important because it is a way to tell whether someone is being honest with you or not. If someone looks you in the eye and says something, it is probably true; whereas if someone does not look at you when they talk, it may mean that they are being evasive or untruthful.

For Chinese, on the other hand, eye contact is not necessary during a conversation, and in fact, may be considered too direct. People do not "open their face" to everyone, and they control their emotions. Thus, lack of eye contact does not say anything about their honesty or focus.

Recently, Bryan saw the misunderstanding that this cultural difference can cause. Two of his senior staff members, one Chinese and one Western, were working together to solve a problem, but they each had a different proposal. Finally, they reached agreement. However, during the entire discussion, the Western staff kept trying to look his Chinese colleague in the eye, whereas the Chinese staff intentionally averted his eyes when he spoke. Afterwards, the Western staff told Bryan he was skeptical about whether his Chinese colleague would really support the proposal… and was surprised when his colleague fully supported him as he had promised. It was just a situation where a major cultural indicator of honesty for one person is not an indicator at all for the other.

(selected from 101 Stories for Foreigners to Understand Chinese People by Yi S. Ellis and Bryan D. Ellis, published by China Intercontinental Press in 2012)