One day I was having lunch in the common kitchen of an art studio where I take painting lessons. I overheard a conversation between a Chinese lady and a teenage girl who had been educated at a Shanghai International school. The older lady was preparing a traditional Shanghaiese dish for lunch.

Girl: What are you making?

Lady: Oh, I am making a cold appetizer with tofu.

Girl: Aren't you going to cook it?

Lady: No, you can eat tofu cold too.

Girl: Does it taste good?

Lady: I think it should taste OK.

Girl: what do you mean "should"?

Lady: Well, not everyone likes the same things. One thing may taste good to one person, but may not taste good to others.

Girl: But you made it, didn't you?

Lady: Yes...(She was a little puzzled.)

Girl: Well, then you should say "It tastes quite good！" You should have confidence in your own creation!

At that, I broke out in laughter. In defense of the Chinese lady, I said,

"Well, you see, a Chinese person would never say that about their own creations. It would sound too cocky. She was being modest when she said 'It should taste OK.'"

To that, the girl replied, "I still think she should say, 'I think it tastes good! '"

Although most Chinese are uncomfortable not being modest, a new generation of young adults in big Chinese cities are becoming increasingly more "confident," and therefore "less Chinese" in that way. Many youngsters now say "thank you" when complimented, and they have no trouble showing how proud they are of their work! The Chinese lady at the painting studio commented that "These kids are becoming more and more Westernized."

(selected from 101 Stories for Foreigners to Understand Chinese People by Yi S. Ellis and Bryan D. Ellis, published by China Intercontinental Press in 2012)