A good friend of mine is a very successful Chinese business woman working for an American firm. On a visit to China, her American boss invited my friend and her husband to dinner. My friend's last name is Wang, so when the American boss met her husband, he shook his hand warmly and said, "Ah, you must be Mr. Wang. It's so good to meet you." My friend's husband replied, "It's nice to meet you, too. But actually, I am not Mr. Wang, I am Mr. Liu."

In mainland China, almost every Chinese woman marrying a Chinese husband keeps her maiden name after marriage. This has been the custom since 1949 when the Chinese Communist Party began to rule the country. Under communism, women and men are supposed to be equal. In fact, a popular slogan in the 1950s says that "Women hold up half of the sky." Maintaining one's maiden name is also a sign of women's independence from men. Today, it is less a political or social statement than it is a habit. I know no mainland Chinese woman who changed her surname after marriage. In contrast, most Chinese women in Hong Kong and in Taiwan will add their husband's surname to their own so that their names begin with two surnames.

So next time you meet a Chinese couple in China, remember that Mrs. Wang's husband is not Mr. Wang!

(selected from 101 Stories for Foreigners to Understand Chinese People by Yi S. Ellis and Bryan D. Ellis, published by China Intercontinental Press in 2012)