When American men greet each other, they typically shake hands. When French women greet each other, they usually hug and kiss each other's cheeks. Most Western countries have a "shakes, hugs and kisses" culture, where people show their greetings and affections with their hands and lips.

In China, however, although shaking hands is becoming more common, people do not hug and kiss during greetings, even amongst good friends. A common greeting is a warm "Hello" and a nod, but nothing more physical than shaking hands, even among women. This is in keeping with the more modest and understated Chinese culture, whereby one shouldn't publicly show one's emotions and affections. It is rare for older Chinese husbands and wives to hold hands or show affection in public, and while the younger generation is becoming more liberal, the cultural modesty is still quite strong.

This sometimes causes some confusion with our friends from overseas, who tend to expect to hug our Chinese friends after sharing a dinner or evening out. Most of our Chinese friends now expect such affection from Westerners, and are happy to respond in kind, but not with their own Chinese friends!

(selected from 101 Stories for Foreigners to Understand Chinese People by Yi S. Ellis and Bryan D. Ellis, published by China Intercontinental Press in 2012)